A Query About Human Nature.
I've been thinking a lot about gossip.
I'm reading the Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley. It's about Arthur and the knights and the Merlin though written from the perspective of the women. Great story and it is a trilogy, though I have only read Mists.
So that's a long time ago, medieval or something. The women are terrible gossips. Even the Queens who are always reprimanding their women for gossiping, gossip. It is almost on every page one of the major characters is saying (or thinking) about how the other women are fools and have nothing to talk about but other's and about how they never engage in the folly of women-talk. Then 2 pages later the same high and mighty character is dishing out with the best of them. Obviously the author wasn't in Queen Gwenhyfar's court and much is poetic license. But I've read many historic books and it is a common theme, especially in royal courts.
I have to believe it is somewhat true as it seems to parallel what I see in people all the time.
What is it about gossip?
I hate it, I hate hearing it, I hate doing it. What do people gain from this? I've never met anyone who was truly above it. I have tried many times to stop but it's like a bad drug. I hate that my children hear me talking about others and are likely to inherit the habit but even that isn't enough to make me stop.
Do others struggle with this? What is this madness all about? Can we start a blogwide pledge to stop?
9 comments:
Psst...I heard a rumour that Kristin's started posting again. Four times and that's just in the past two weeks!! (hee hee).
I LOVE The Mists of Avalon and you are in for a great read. And after reading 'The Other Boleyn Girl' and now 'Wise Woman' (both Phillipa Gregory) I'm finding the same thing over at Henry's court (big surprise). It's definitely a trap that we all get sucked into even when we think we don't want to be 'a gossip' (and especially not gossiped about). And they are the conversations that I never feel good about having/hearing afterwards.
As an act of solidarity I am giving up Perez Hilton (ok, maybe that's not such a big sacrifice)!
It's so nice having you back in blogville!
I think one of the hardest things about not gossibping is realizing that you're doing it before the words come out of your mouth. It takes real attention to pay attention to the words you say. I am somewhat of a controlled gossip. When in the teacher's lounge, I listen and never speak- just in case my mouth goes before my brain!
hahahaha. elizabeth! so funny. she really is blogging again. and posting a lot!!! :)
yep. hate it too. hate it!
i struggle with that too. with my kids. i think it is just human nature. and knowing about it is the first step to stopping it!
I think there is a difference between discussing other people (which is an inherent part of being human) and spreading gossip. I think the intent and content of the communication are the crucial differences. But perhaps the lawyer in me is just comfortable with splitting hairs like that.
I have read The Mists of Avalon at least 20 times, starting when I was about 12. I've also read all of Marion Zimmer Bradley's other historically-based novels, but not her sci-fi books. Several of her books are linked or related. But they're all good. One of my favorites is The Fall of Atlantis, which takes place, naturally, in Atlantis. Another one I love is about the fall of Troy (The Firebrand).
Colleen McCullogh (who wrote The Thornbirds) did a whole series on ancient Rome, which are very dense, but also quite interesting. I love historical novels. Sometimes I just need a break from my own time!
That sounds like a great read! I think people are constantly comparing themselves to others for some reason it seams to be part of human nature. Talking about other people must be satisfying in some primal way. Comparing, contrasting and seeing where you fall, and talking about it with others has to be something that has been a part of being human for a long time because it is so ingrained, and like you say, no one seems to be above it.
In any case, good food for thought, thank you!
cheers,
Sabrina
I agree with yarnhog RE: gossip. That being said I do both of those things ... do I feel guilty? No. I assume in some way, shape or form someone is or once has gossiped about me and that makes everything even in the universe. LOL
Most certainly it is something I have tried to refrain from.
It takes control because I think it is somewhat human nature. I do try not to "talk" about others in front of the girls but honestly there are times that I have to share something with hubby because it is usually something that is so out there that someone has done.....but I try to wait till we have a minute alone.
What I am working on now is not getting so worked up at sporting events. I always yell encouragingly towards my daughters playing like; DEFENSE BLUE, GET YOUR REBOUNDS, COME ON YOU CAN DO IT, WHOO HOOO when a basket goes it.....much clapping and all that....I would never be negative but I know I must sound like an ass when I do it. So I knit very fast and try to just watch. As well trying no to be so competitive.....I don't want the other team to win and have to bite my tongue when parents begin acting like asses when they are winning. There are some freaks out there watching their kids.....I guess I really am the tame one compared to some of them.
I see I'm not the only one who has read Mists of Avalon like 20 times!
I too hate gossiping! The other day I was at the park with a neighbour and while our kids were playing I brought up some gossip I had just found out about another neighbour. The minute I spoke these words I TOTALLY regretted it. What was I thinking?!? I quickly changed the subject, and I hope I never do THAT again. (yeah right!)
hey, BTW I'm thinking of joining a knitting guild, I have like 100 questions (I want to learn to spin) and figure I'd learn a lot of the monthly meetings.
The dundas (across the bay) guild is a good one?! did you try the burlington/oakville guild ever?
I love that book!
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